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When things are no longer as exciting as they were in the bedroom, it could be a warning sign that your relationship is in trouble. It is common to find that after a couple of years together a couple is no longer attracted to each sexually. This could be as a result of outside influences like careers, taking care of the children and even financial matters. Other issues that affect intimacy and your sexual life are anxiety, boredom and feeling burdened.
The relationship ends up being a burden rather than a source of refuge, strength and comfort. With time, you end up losing the sexual and intimate attraction you once had for your spouse and eventually the sex becomes less spontaneous, frequent and exciting. Identifying the signs that your sexual and emotional relationship is breaking down will help you come up with solutions. Some of these signs are:
1. Extended periods of lack of intimacy and sexual contact
Sex and intimacy is one of the best ways that you can create closeness and a strong bond with your spouse. If you find that you stay for weeks or months without any kind of intimacy or sexual contact, then there is a serious problem. It is also a sign that there are major overall relationship problems that need to be handled. A lot of times, you might end up blaming this on certain stressors in your life such as your job and imagine that it will get better with time. However, you should note that this could end up being a massive issue if it is not acknowledged.
2. You no longer talk like you used to
It does not matter whether you are going through positive or negative emotions, you should be able to share what you are going through with your partner. If you cannot do this, it will create a distance between the two of you which extends to the bedroom. Communication is very important in different aspects of the relationship especially in the bedroom. You should be open-minded about the suggestions that your partner brings forward to improve your sex life.
Before you try to spice up the now dull sex with sexy lingerie, adult toys or even Viagra, you need to spend time and talk with your spouse. This way, you will be in a position to address all the issues that both of you feel affecting the relationship as a whole. Once the relationship is fulfilling, you will look forward to being intimate with your loved ones.
3. You no longer think about sex
When you no longer fantasize or think about sex, it signifies that something is not right in your relationship or in your life. Maybe your loved one made negative comments about how you look or you found out they were cheating. This kind of thing can have a great impact on your self esteem and sometimes leave you with bitterness. If both of you are still willing to make it work, you can seek the services of a sex therapist to help you get right on track.
4. A lot of time is spent in arguments
This is a common sign for couples who have less sexual contact and it is imperative to address the issue. Sometimes, you might feel that your spouse just does not want to understand your problems and thus pick fights. Arguments could be as a result of frustration in the bedroom whereby you do not get any satisfaction or outside forces. Rather than pick a fight, you should open up to your loved one about what is bothering you without placing blame. This way, you will be in a position to find ways to deal with the issue together.
5. It feels like a chore
Being intimate with your partner should leave you satisfied and fulfilled and not like one of the chore or responsibilities that are expected of you. Try to change your mind frame and look for ways that you can spice up things in the bedroom. You could suggest new positions or having relations at different places and times to make it exciting.
Jayden is a qualified sex therapist and has written numerous articles on how couples can improve intimacy and sex. He recommends the use of various elements such as adult toys and lingerie to bring excitement to the bedroom.
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